Why You’re So Afraid of Change (and What You Can Do About It)

Change freaks us out—probably even more than public speaking, but it's the sort of amorphous issue that we don't think about because it manifests itself subtly in so many ways. Whether a relationship starts or ends, you're moving, you've got a new job, or you've lost someone you love, change—whether it's good or bad—causes stress. Here's how it works and how to handle it without losing your mind.

"Change" is a broad term, and it can apply to many things. Perhaps you're just moving to a new home or starting a new job, or something awful happens like a death in the family. These events may seem black and white, and not necessarily similar, but they all require adjustment in the way you conduct your day-to-day life. These adjustments cause stress, even when they're positive. Conversely, negative changes can yield positive results. You never know exactly what you're going to get, which often frightens us. Coping with change well, rather than losing your mind, only requires an adjustment on your outlook and a little evidence of surviving various circumstances. In this post, we'll take a look at why your brain resists change and how you can actually change that.

What Is Change, Exactly?

I've been through some pretty big changes in my life, but I'm no professional. To help define the issue of change, and find out the best methods of coping, I consulted relationship and family therapistRoger S. Gil:

For our purposes, let's define change as "a modification to a person's environment, situation, or physical/mental condition that results in circumstances that challenge their existing paradigms." What our definition implies is that humans have a tendency to define how their world is supposed to work. Whenever something happens in our personal world or to our own being that is inconsistent with the way we feel the world should be, we encounter change.

Change comes in many forms in our daily lives. Everyone experiences the pains of being young through puberty and later the pains of being old through inevitable medical issues. We get married, graduate from school, switch careers several times, move across the country, get in terrible accidents, lose our parents, discover hobbies we love that we never knew about, and sometimes even achieve our dreams. Even though we can attribute a default emotion (e.g. happy, sad) to many of these broad examples, Roger notes that the event isn't the only thing that affects how we handle both "good" and "bad" change:

The important thing to keep in mind is that there is a continuum between "positive" and "negative" so not all changes are easily codified as good or bad. In fact, other psychological factors (such as one's temperament, mood, and global IQ) can affect how a person codifies a change along the positive-negative continuum.

On top of that, the event itself often doesn't affect whether or not we feel stress. If anything changes, good or bad, stress will probably result:

Any time we are confronted by an event that is inconsistent with our core beliefs, we will likely feel some level of stress. In fact, a long-used psychometric for measuring stress is the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale. Most of the items on this scale represent a change in a person's life that is known to lead to some amount of stress. The interesting thing is that many of the items also represent "good" things like dating, marriage, or vacations. In other words, even good change is stressful.

When trying to understand how change affects us, we mostly need to look at three things: 1) the situation itself, 2) our mood/temperament, and 3) how others may affect us. Keep these key factors in mind as we discuss how our brains deal with change and, later, what we can do to override the problems.

Why Change Is So Difficult

Our Brains Expect Certain Things to Stay the Same

In theory, change should be simple. When walking down the street, say come to a construction site and need to change your path. By scanning around the area you should be able to find a detour and follow it to get where you want to go. Inherently, this situation shouldn't cause any stress but our brains offer a number of special quirks that cause us to see things differently. Because we've taken the normal path before, we don't worry that it'll take us where we want to go. When we run into a roadblock, suddenly information we trusted has broken down. Where does the other road lead? How long will it take? Is it dangerous? What we don't know tends to scare us, and change creates a lot of things we don't know. As a result, we tend to act pretty irrationally to try and prevent change, often without realizing it, and make our lives unnecessarily problematic.

While we often fear change when pre-existing information fails us, but the amount of stress can vary greatly. Roger explains:

Both nature and nurture will influence how we form our core beliefs about how the world works and our roles in our respective worlds. When we experience the world or ourselves in a certain way for an extended period of time, we develop core beliefs that make up our paradigm for how life is supposed to be. The experiences we have as children tend to be the most long-lasting and influential because they represent prototypical experiences that future experiences will be compared to and will likely play a key role in the development of our worldview/paradigm for life. Since our brains are still developing, childhood experiences have a greater chance of influencing how future neural connections will develop. Whether good or bad, children tend to adjust better to change since they don't have as much "legacy material" to overcome when encountering change (i.e. their worldviews/life paradigms are still developing). As we age and our brains become less plastic, we encounter more difficulties processing changes because our paradigms are more ingrained.

The earlier you learned something, the harder it is to change. "You can't teach an old dog new tricks" is a saying for a reason.

We Seek Out People Like Us to Avoid Change

Because new information bothers our brains, we tend to find friends and form groups that reinforce our beliefs—whether they're correct or not. When many people agree, it's easy to discount the opinions of others in the face of undeniable logic. This occurs because of a phenomenon known asthe illusion of asymmetric insight. David McRaney, writer of the blog and book about self-delusion You Are Not So Smart, explains:

The illusion of asymmetric insight makes it seem as though you know everyone else far better than they know you, and not only that, but you know them better than they know themselves. You believe the same thing about groups of which you are a member. As a whole, your group understands outsiders better than outsiders understand your group, and you understand the group better than its members know the group to which they belong.

This lovely phenomenon gives you cause to discount conflicting information as bias and stick with what you know. Essentially, you attack the possibility of change because you think you know better than everyone else and have the friends to back you up.

We Hate to Feel Like We Wasted Our Time and Effort

Sometimes change involves a significant loss, and our brains hateloss. When we invest ourselves emotionally in anything, it becomes harder to change because we don't want to lose all the time and effort we already exerted. As a result, we have a hard time letting go of a project we know deep down will fail. We also struggle to end doomed relationships because we're terrible at accepting the whole thing was for naught. In reality, time isn't wasted but our brains like to see the entire time as a loss rather than just a part of the inevitable conclusion. If you've ever played a game of Farmville and struggled to stop, you know exactly how this feels.

A study (PDF) by psychologists Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky found that our brain's desire for loss aversion almost always altered our choices even when our other choice was identical. David McRaney explains the study:

Imagine the apocalypse is upon you. Some terrible disease was unleashed in an attempt to cure male pattern baldness. The human population has been reduced to 600 people. Everyone is likely to die without help. As one of the last survivors you meet a scientist who believes he has found a cure, but he isn't sure. He has two versions and can't bear to choose between them. His scientific estimates are exact, but he leaves the choice up to you. Cure A is guaranteed to save exactly 200 people. Cure B has a 1/3 probability of saving 600, but a 2/3 probability of saving no one. The fate of hairlines and future generations is in your hands. Which do you pick? Ok, mark your answer and let's reimagine the scenario. Same setup, everyone is going to die without a cure, but this time if you use Cure C it is certain exactly 400 people will die. Cure D has a 1/3 probability of killing no one, but a 2/3 probability killing 600. Which one?

Most people chose Cure A in the first scenario and Cure D in the second, but both situations presented were actually the same with different framing. The results showed how quickly we flock to the option that minimizes loss—the one with the least perceived change. Because we're so opposed to inciting change, logic can go right out the window.

How to Better Cope With Change

Coping with change isn't that hard. You can't change how your brain works, but you can use its quirks to your advantage. Basically, your brain likes information it knows and understands and doesn't like what it doesn't know. If your brain experiences enough change in a variety of ways, it'll allow you to operate with the understanding that change is something you can survive and even benefit from. You won't fear it so much because the information stored in your head provides evidence that fear is unnecessary. Of course, getting to this point is easier said than done.

Accept the Inevitability of Change and Its Resulting Stress

Roger suggests a few methods when learning to cope with and better-handle changing circumstances. To start, you have to accept that stress is an inevitable part of the process:

Rewriting your own "source code" is supposed to be hard. It'll get harder to rewrite over time but if you don't do it, you'll eventually be left with a bunch of useless code that can't run on current platforms. Give yourself permission to feel the change-related distress and all of the associated emotions that come along with it. It sucks but not allowing yourself to process those emotions will prevent you from moving forward. If you don't process them you'll have to isolate yourself from all things that represent the "distressing" change just to be able to function.

Think of Change Like a Software Upgrade

Roger suggests looking at our lives as an operating system with software titles. As the world changes and our operating system evolves, applications that used to work may not work anymore. As a result, they need to be updated with new code in order to function in a changed environment. The events in our lives may not seem as straightforward as a few new features in Photoshop, but the principles stay the same. Handling a change to the information we use everyday requires work. We're wired to resist it, but are better off in the long run if we don't.

Allow Yourself to Freak Out, But Always Consider the Upside

Give yourself permission to freak out on your own time and then find ways to move forward positively:

This is the most difficult thing to keep in mind and to put into practice because the psychological distress caused by some changes can make having an optimistic outlook feel like an impossible task. That's okay. Do all the crying, kicking, and screaming you need to do; then start to seek out ways to make your new situation more livable and enjoyable. Fixating on what was lost as a result of the change will prevent us from experiencing the good things that our new circumstances can bring us. In the case of the loss of a loved one, making the best of the present would mean processing our emotional pain and working on developing an outlook that allows for renewed hope in the future and the possibility of happiness.

After enough regular practice, managing change won't feel like such a fearful burden. Shifting gears is rarely easy, but it isn't supposed to be. With practice you'll get better and it won't feel like you're hit with a stress bomb every time your life takes a different turn. The only way the fear and stress will disappear is if you calm down an embrace the unknown.

A big thanks goes out to Roger S. Gil, M.A.M.F.T. for his integral contributions to this post. Be sure to check out his podcast and follow him on Twitter for more.

Photos by red-feniks (Shutterstock), bahri altay (Shutterstock), DrMadra (Shutterstock), oilyy(Shutterstock), Christos Georghiou (Shutterstock), wongstock (Shutterstock), Stuart Miles(Shutterstock), and amasterphotographer (Shutterstock).

Source:http://lifehacker.com/5982622/why-youre-so-afraid-of-change-and-what-you-can-do-about-it?utm_source=Lifehacker+Newsletter&utm_campaign=ed0053616f-UA-142218-1&utm_medium=email#viewcomments

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IEEE 802.15.6 Body Area Network (BAN)

Networking media has been covered all the fields of the World such as computer networking as well as health departments. For the sake of detection of the chronic disease in the human body a network developed that is referred to as the body area network or BAN. Generally it is defined as the types of network that deals with the detection and for monitoring the whole systematic of the human body or the computational devices wearied by the humans for the sake of detection of chronic syndromes also is called as the body area network. it is also called as the body sensor network.

Concept of Body Area Network:
As we all know that science and researchers in the field of science move towards the new and advanced technology. Different types of sensors or the networks are introduced in the filed of networking. Some wireless networks or the sensors are also used that provide us opportunity to monitor our important things like health, traffic etc in a better way. As a result of this sensor technology researchers has been develop a new sensor or networking technology that is called as the body area network or senor that enable us to monitor the internal activities if the human body such as chronic diseases.


Applications of Body Area Network:
Due to the reliability and the property of detecting the diseases or monitoring, body area network is applicable on the different types if properties. Some of the common and important applications of the body area network are listed below

1. Body area network BAN is widely applicable on the hospitality departs for the sake of the monitoring the internal environment of the human body and also helpful in detecting some diseases
2. For the detection of different chronic diseases like asthma, heart attacks etc body area networks are used world widely
3. Body area networks are also applicable on the sports and security departments and some times for communication purposes also

Important Components of BAN:
As every thing consists of different components in its building process, similarly body area networks also have different components that take part in the producing the body are networks. Some of its important components are

1. Different types if detectors of motion
2. Several types of monitoring sensors
3. Different types of accelerometers are also involved as the components of the BAN
4. Typical components of the body area networks have battery, processing source, different sensors and transceiver
5. Different types of sensing technology is used in the composition of body area networks such as physiological sensors such as ECG or EEG

Challenges for Body Area Network:
 Body area networks also faced different challenges in the race of the technological world. Some of its challenges are as follows

1. The sensor devices that are used in the configuration of the body area networks are of complex nature sand are so small that it is very difficult to construct.
2. Some people think that this technology is not secure ion the field of hospitality as compared to other medical devices.
3. When the body area networks are used for the transmission of data they are not useful and can interrupt the data transmission and decrease the efficiency

Future of Body Area Networks:
 Future of body area networks is very bright because it is applicable almost in every field such as networking, monitoring, detection etc. If the challenges and the problems of the body area networks would be solved then this technology will cover the whole technological world with its applications and will also helpful in producing the new technologies for the benefit of the mankind.

source:Internet

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Lifetime Equations (No Physics ... No Mathematics) !!!!

Equations! - This is one of the funniest equation reductions you may have read in a LONG time


Equation 1

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore:
Human = Donkey + Work + enjoy
Therefore: Human-enjoy = Donkey + Work
In other words, A Human that doesn't know how to enjoy = Donkey that works.
++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ ++ ++
Equation 2

Man = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore: Man = Donkey + earn money
Therefore: Man-earn money = Donkey
In other words Man who doesn't earn money = Donkey
++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +
Equation 3

Woman= eat + sleep + spend
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore: Woman = Donkey + spend
Therefore:Woman - spend = Donkey
In other words, Woman who doesn't spend = Donkey
++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +

To Conclude: >From Equation 2 and Equation 3

Man who doesn't earn money = Woman who doesn't spend

So Man earns money not to let woman become a donkey!

And a woman spends not to let the man become a donkey!


So, We have: Man + Woman = Donkey + earn money + Donkey + Spend money

Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude

Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!

Cheers!!!!

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How to be your boss’s favorite?

The most important person who can help in the growth of one’s career in a desired way is the “Boss”. Your boss can do much more than any qualification can do for you. He is the person who represents you in front of the management. Whatever he says, good or bad about you definitely has an effect on your career succession with in and outside the organization. If boss is such an important person in your career, what is it that you can do to keep him happy and be his favorite?

This article is not about being a sycophant; it is rather about maintaining a good relationship with your superior. If you know what are the things that bosses like and dislike in their sub-ordinates you are one step closer to your destination. Even if you are made a boss tomorrow, you would expect these things from your sub-ordinates. So, let’s take a look at the traits that bosses like and dislike in their sub-ordinates.

Traits that bosses appreciate in their team members:

• Hard work and dedication


• Loyalty and discipline


• Being a team player


• Giving credit to the boss and the team


• Flexibility
  At times they may need to restructure the team or experiment making some changes in the tasks you do, don’t be resistant. Take a flexible approach and help him try out new things. You can definitely discuss if you foresee any problems in the new approach and give the possible solutions.


• Constructive feedback
  Feedback is important but if it can’t be put to any use, it won’t be much helpful. If you want to report a problem area, offer some possible solutions also.


• Discuss everything with the boss first
  Keep the boss updated about your work. Whatever it is, good or bad, tell it to your boss first. He needs to be prepared to answer the questions that may arise related to you.


• Not directly approaching the big boss
  If you want to report a problem, it is always a good idea to go directly to your line manager and discuss it with him rather than directly going to the big boss. If you directly go to the big boss, it puts your line manager in an awkward situation.


• Taking Initiatives


• Supporting the company during tough times.


• Appreciate the opportunity you are given and be thankful

Traits that bosses do not appreciate in their sub-ordinates:

• Giving Surprises
  Surprises, good or bad are not appreciated by the bosses. They give an impression that the boss is unaware about the happenings in his department and do not give him a chance to prepare himself to answer the questions that might arise.


• Unannounced leave
  There may be times when the boss is relying on you for a particular task and all of a sudden if you take a leave without informing the boss, imagine where it will lead him to. If you have to take a leave inform your boss in as much advance as possible so that he can plan his acitivities accordingly.


• Excuses for underperformance
  Accept the responsibility for underperformance rather than blaming it on the customers or colleagues. Try to find out and propose the solutions. Always ask the question “Why”. Why did we score more in this test? Why did we sell less in this season? What can we do to improve the results?


• Doing personal stuff while at work
  Would you like it if you are required to pay an employee for his personal work which he wants to do in the office? Similarly bosses also do not like it when you take out your books and start preparing for your entrance exam in the office. Your company is paying you for the time when you are at office, don’t do personal work there.


• Being Idle
  If you are done with your assigned work, do not take out a novel and start reading it. Give the advantage of your free time to your company. Go to the boss and ask him if he would like you to do something extra.


• Stretching lunch hours or coffee breaks
  If your company gives you a lunch break of 30 minutes, do not go out to smoke a cigarette or for a stroll for another 10 minutes. Finish your lunch and associated activities within 30 minutes and get back to your place.


• Taking a break at busy time of the day
  How would you feel if you go to the bank to notice that the cashier is away from his place during the work hours and you are required to wait for 30 minutes? Wouldn’t it be irritating? The boss also feels the same when you are away from your place during the busy hours of the business.


• Overtime when boss didn’t ask for
  Your company has a policy of paying the employees for every extra working hour. You make it a habit to do an overtime of 2 hours everyday without your boss wanting you to do it. Wouldn’t it irritate the boss? Do not misuse the flexibility your company offers.


• Laughing around at boss’s mistake
  Every human being is error prone. If your boss makes a mistake, do not make it a habit to point it out and laugh around at it. Genuinely bring it to his notice and move ahead.


• Badmouthing the boss or company
  Many employees have an habit of bad mouthing the boss and the company. Have you ever thought, if you your company or boss is so bad, why do you want to hang around there?


• Wasting time grooming yourself


• Taking Personal calls at work


• Misusing office facilities


• Stealing on company’s things


• Socializing too much at work

Source:Internet

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THE 10 THINGS IN LIFE THAT YOU CONTROL

Are you controlling them or vice-versa?

We humans spend much of our time trying to control every aspect of our lives. Unfortunately, too often we try and control things that are simply beyond our control. The list of what we can control is quite short, but once you know these 10 things you will be able to take control of your own life.

1.
What you do: Your actions are yours alone.
You choose to make them or not make them and you are responsible for the effects of those actions.

2.
What you say: Likewise, the words you speak (or write) are also consciously chosen.
Like actions, they have an impact on your life and the lives of those you contact.

3.
What you think:
Yes, there are some subconscious thoughts that you can't control.
But the things that you really think about, your beliefs, your ideals, etc. are concepts you have chosen to accept and believe in.

4.
Your work:
Many people like to overlook this one, it being much easier to say, "Oh, I'm! trapped in my job because I don't have a degree, experience, etc."
That's simple a way of denying one's responsibility in having chosen the job in the first place.
It's your job and you chose it.
If you stay (or go), that's a choice as well.

5.
The people you associate with:
There's a famous T-shirt that states: "It's hard to soar like an eagle when you're surrounded by turkeys."
Colloquial is very often correct!
Your friends can either lift you up or bring you down.
You make the decision which type of friends you wish to have.

6.
Your basic physical health.
Much about our health is a factor of genetics, environment, and exposure.
Much more of our health is simply a matter of the decisions we make about our health, such as: diet, exercise, drugs, sleep, routine physicals, check-ups, etc.

7.
The environment you live in:
Your house, the condition of your home, the town you live in, the amenities available to you are all things you can control, although some to a lesser degree (i.e., you decide to tolerate them or move someplace else).

8.
Your fiscal situation:
Having or not having enough money is a factor of what you make versus what you spend.

9.
Your time: You choose how to "spend" your time and how much of your time to give to various activities.
You'll never get more time than the 24 hours your given each day.

10.
Your legacy: All your actions, words, and knowledge that you share while you are living become the gift that you leave when you are gone.

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Flower Remedies-1

Flower remedy is an alternate therapeutic method that can be used for the treatment of various ailments in human beings. It is almost similar like homeopathic treatment. The natural extracts from flowers are taken and used in the therapy. The extracts are not used in the concentrated form, but applied in diluted form. Only a small amount of flower extract in solution gives the desired effect. The preparation of flower remedies is not an easy job. To prepare flower remedy the person must have knowledge and a lot of skill.

Though flower remedies have many similarities with homeopathy practice but the method of preparation is markedly different. This rigorous method is done to make the flower remedies more effective than the homeopathic therapies.

Dr. Edward BachDr. Edward Bach, the prominent English botanist and homeopathic practitioner was the father of the flower remedies as he discovered and perfected the preparation of flower remedies. He devoted rest of his life in discovering different flower essence and prepared thirty-eight flower remedies in total. This method thus acknowledged as Bach Flower remedies. However, later the herbalists and botanists from all over the world have researched with the potential of other flowers and made their own remedies. In the recent era, in India flower remedy as an alternative treatment has gained a colossal importance.

. The principle of making flower remedies involves the theory of positive and negative energies of nature that influences human body. Diseases occur due to negative energies that contradict with the human soul. A healthy person`s soul keeps all the negative energies away. The flower remedies can also keep away the negative energies. The flower extract have the potencies to convert all the negative energies into positive energy, so it has the ability to prevent the diseases.

Thus, flower remedies work at the mental level rather than the physical level. Flower remedies cannot directly remove the disease symptoms but it can work at the basic level and uproot the cause of disease. Thus, flower remedies are slow procedure but the beneficial result it gives is more lasting.

Preparation of Flower Remedies: Flower remedies are done from flower extracts, which are used in diluted condition. The flower extract can be made by sun method or by the boiling method.

Flower Remedies in Different Diseases: Flower extracts are specially helpful in case of different mental conditions, that might have physical manifestations.

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10 principles for peace of mind

1. Do Not Interfere In Others Business Unless Asked.

Most of us create our own problems by interfering too often in others affairs. We do so because somehow we have convinced ourselves that our way is the best way, our logic is the perfect logic and those who do not conform to our thinking must be criticized and steered to the right direction, our direction. This thinking denies the existence of individuality and consequently the existence of God.. God has each one of us in a way. No two human beings can think or act in exactly the same way. All men or women act the way they do because God within them prompts them that way. Mind your own business and you will keep your peace.

2. Forgive And Forget..

This is the most powerful aid to peace of mind. We often develop ill feelings inside our heart for the person who insults us or harms us. We nurture grievances. This in turn results in loss of sleep, development of stomach ulcers, and high blood pressure. This insult or injury was done once, but nourishing of grievance goes on forever by constantly remembering it. Get over this bad habit. Life is too short to waste in such trifles. Forgive, Forget, and march on. Love flourishes in giving and forgiving.

3. Do Not Crave For Recognition.

This world is full of selfish people. They seldom praise anybody without selfish motives. They may praise you today because you are in power, but no sooner than you are powerless, they will forget your achievement and will start finding faults in you. Why do you wish to kill yourself in striving for their recognition? Their recognition is not worth the aggravation. Do your duties ethically and sincerely.

4. Do Not Be Jealous.

We all have experienced how jealousy can disturb our peace of mind. You know that you harder than your colleagues in the office, but sometimes they get promotions; you do not. You a business several years ago, but you are not as successful as your neighbor whose business is only one old. There are several examples like these in everyday life. Should you be jealous? No. Remember everybodys life is shaped by his/her destiny, which has now become his/her reality. If you are destined to be rich, nothing in the world can stop you. If you are not so destined, no one can help you either. Nothing will be gained by blaming others for your misfortune. Jealousy will not get you anywhere; it will only take away your peace of mind.

5. Change Yourself According To The Environment.

If you try to change the environment single-handedly, the chances are you will fail. Instead, change yourself to suit your environment. As you do this, even the environment, which has been unfriendly to you, will mysteriously change and seem congenial and harmonious.

6. Endure What Cannot Be Cured.

This is the best way to turn a disadvantage into an advantage. Every day we face numerous inconveniences, ailments, irritations, and accidents that are beyond our control.. If we cannot control them or change them, we must learn to put up with these things. We must learn to endure them cheerfully. Believe in yourself and you will gain in terms of patience, inner strength and will power.


7. Do Not Bite Off More Than You Can Chew.

This maxim needs to be remembered constantly. We often tend to take more responsibilities than we are capable of carrying out. This is done to satisfy our ego. Know your limitations. . Why take on additional loads that may create more worries? You cannot gain peace of mind by expanding your external activities. Reduce your material engagements and spend in prayer, introspection and meditation. This will reduce those thoughts in your mind that you restless. Uncluttered mind will produce greater peace of mind.


8. Meditate Regularly.

Meditation calms the mind and gets rid of disturbing thoughts. This is the highest state of peace of mind. Try and it yourself. If you meditate earnestly for half an hour everyday, your mind will tend to become peaceful during the remaining twenty-three and half-hours. Your mind will not be easily disturbed as it was before. You would benefit by gradually increasing the period of daily meditation. You may think that this will interfere with your daily work. On the contrary, this will increase your efficiency and you will be able to produce better results in less time

9. Never Leave The Mind Vacant.

An empty mind is the devil’s workshop. All evil actions start in the vacant mind. Keep your mind occupied in something positive, something worthwhile. Actively follow a hobby. Do something that holds your interest. You must decide what you value more: money or peace of mind. Your hobby, like social work or religious work, may not always earn you more money, but you will have a sense of fulfillment and achievement. Even when you are resting physically, occupy yourself in healthy reading or mental chanting of God’s name.


10. Do Not Procrastinate And Never Regret.

Do not waste time in protracted wondering Should I or shouldn't I? Days, weeks, months, and years may be wasted in that futile mental debating. You can never plan enough because you can never anticipate all future happenings. Value your time and do the things that need to be done. It does not matter if you fail the first time. You can learn from your mistakes and succeed the next time. Sitting back and worrying will lead to nothing. Learn from your mistakes, but do not brood over the past. DO NOT REGRET.. Whatever happened was destined to happen only that way. Why cry over spilt milk?

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L – I – S – T – E – N - I - N - G

Hi Folks,

Came across this lovely article and would like to share it with you all..

In any walk of life, whatever the professiona you practice, if you
are human being, because God gave youthe power of listening,
understanding and responding (orally or written), unlike any other
living being on the planet. Then it becomes vital that we develop
this habit called L – I – S – T – E – N - I - N - G

Poor listening habits account for a large percentage of communication
breakdowns.

To Avoid Communication Breakdown L – I – S – T – E – N ..

How many times have you found yourself saying "You never told me?"

Avoid these bad habits and develop your listening skills. Listening
is a skill that can be improved with practice, practice, and more
practice.

If you want to listen so you really HEAR what others say, make sure
you're not a:

Responder - Rehearser:
You mentally prepare for "Here's what I'll say next" and subsequently
tune out what else is being said.

Evaluator - Judger:
The burden of listening is on the listener. Don't automatically
condemn a speaker or the subject as uninteresting; don't prejudice
your listening because you don't like the speaker's looks, hairdo,
and voice and so on.

Un-Conscious - Daydreamer:
You have that "deer in the headlights look" leading to an
embarrassing "What did you say?" or "Could you repeat that?"

Imposter - Placater:
Agreeing with everything you hear just to be nice or to avoid
conflict does not mean you're a good listener.

Deralier - Changer:
You change the subject so quickly that the speaker believes you're
not interested in what he/she has to say.

Chooser - Selector:
You filter out what you don't what to hear.

Rigid - Defender:
You don't hear all of what someone has to say because a single
comment made by the speaker has upset you.

Actor - Faker:
Don't pretend to be getting the message while your mind has made a
mental detour and is busy with completely different ideas. If the
speaker tries to interact with you at this point, you'll find
yourself completely lost.


If only your listening skills improve you will fidn that the rate at
which your career will "ZOOM" will surprise you too.

Happy L – I – S – T – E – N - I - N - G

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Winter Fatigue

It's easy to feel fatigued and loss of energy in the winter months when sun light hours are shorter. To take advantage of the early morning sunlight, lift your bedroom shades the minute you get up. Better yet go out for a 30 minute walk. The sunlight and exercise will give you a boost all day long. To help keep your energy up go outside every chance you get all day. To up your light at work and home; use natural light bulbs- try "Sylvania's Daylight Extra bulbs.” ( At retailers nationwide.) www.ott-lite.com, Or you might try a light-box that uses blue-light technology, for more info try; www.purenatural.com.

Eat plenty of protein to increase your mental alertness and energy. Protein contains tyrosine, an amino acid that elevates the brain chemical dopamine. It also makes your stomach feel fuller so you won't be as apt to want to eat breads and sweets. Have an egg or high protein cereal for breakfast and a few nuts for your morning snack. A cup of yogurt is good for an afternoon snack to carry you over until dinner.

Do something for somebody to give yourself a lift. Buy a sandwich for a homeless person you pass on the street. Baby sit for a neighbor. Visit a lonely person who would enjoy a chat. Volunteer to help someone in need. To find something that suits you go to; www.idealist.org

Brew a white tea. White tea goes through the least processing and requires little sweetening. White tea has the highest concentration of L-theanine, an amino acid that, according to a recent study, stimulates alpha brain waves to boost alertness while producing a calming effect. And a cup of white tea contains less caffeine than other teas. It is also more hydrating.

Take a break from your TV, computer and other technology. You get an adrenaline zap every time you phone rings or an email comes in. Pick up a good book to read or lie down for a nap. Meditate and rest quietly.

Focus on anything that you like, beautiful flowers, the ocean, or mountains. You need some time to tune in and reconnect with yourself. For the best health of all your family try to see that they also have quiet times to meditate and retune.

Do your workouts to maximize your oxygen intake. Lift weights, roll on the exercise ball, climb stairs, and jog. Breathe hard more often. Take a breathing break to breath out all the old air in your lungs and take in fresh oxygen. Inhale from your belly; then breath out slowly, imagine you are pulling your navel toward your spine.

Try self acupressure. Rub the muscle between your thumb and your fore finger from three to five minutes. You should feel a little ache then an overall since of relief and a feeling of peace.

We all get those winter blahs but there are things we can do to feel better. Besides the things I have named above, I love going to the park when the sun is shining and just soaking it in. Also when I go out in the car and return home, I sometimes just sit in the car with a good book that I always keep in the dash. It feels so good sitting in the warm car with the sun shining in to warm me.

Another thing I enjoy is sneaking out on the deck with a quilt and burrowing down warm and cozy in my swing. I know, I know, sometimes we don't have time to waste. Clothes are waiting to be washed, supper is waiting to be cooked, and dogs are waiting to be walked. But we need to get in the habit of taking those few minutes to rejuvenate ourselves so we can feel like normal human beings and not slaves to routine which can swallow us alive if we let it. Okay enough preaching. I will let all you busy people get on with your live. I wish you many sunny days with good books to read, interesting trails to walk, and warm quilts to snuggle in.

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Six simple 'D' mantras for happiness

'LET EVERYONE be happy'. All philosophies unilaterally accept this declaration. The moment we think 'how to be happy' we acknowledge the feeling that we are unhappy. What could be the root cause of unhappiness?
In the present age everyone is focused on earning. Most of us, while performing our duties are more conscious of pain than pleasure and this painful realisation, rather unhappiness, results in anger, greed and lust. By turning away from these three entrances to the realm of unhappiness and behaving according to one's own highest good certainly results in happiness.
Happiness cannot be bought from anywhere. The question that arises then is how can one get happiness? Happiness is a state of mind. In short, it exists in man's mind. Mind is the substratum of happiness as well as of unhappiness. Hence, we must give inputs to the mind. The mind is to be fed with right knowledge rather than information. Happiness can be realised by knowledge. Knowledge comes by mastery over a object or subject.
Here are six simple 'D' mantras that are imperative to get into the realm of happiness irrespective of your profession, vocation and age.
Duty:
Do thy duty. That is a dictum that runs from ages. If a person does his duty, he will certainly be happy. There is no free lunch as we all know. This is an eternal law. It may not strike us, but sooner or later, the realisation will dawn on us. Our duty determines what we deserve and what we can assimilate. All work/duty is simply to bring out the power of the mind, which is already there. Duty is thus to be done irrespective of the circumstances.
Discipline:
A disciplined man is almost half successful. He does his duty and that brings happiness. It eliminates fear, and inferiority. That enthuses him to be creative. A disciplined mind distinguishes between right and wrong. A disciplined mind is fearless, so it does help in doing the right things.
Determination:
"He only is a well-made man who has a good determination". Determination shows the strength of a man's mind! It yields dedication and devotion. A decisive mind removes confusion and doubts thereby it endows intellectual satisfaction. A determined man is balanced and positive and that makes him happy.
Dexterity:
To create something novel, to invent anew, to attain great skills are all laudatory. But unless one is a master of his domain it is not easy to achieve success. To achieve one's ambition one needs to have dexterity. Dexterity here does not just mean being skillful with one's hands or body agility. It means one needs to be mentally alert to the best level. A person who is mentally conscious of his duties and responsibilities will never while away time in pondering over the unnecessary. His approach will be - hard work coupled with selflessness to achieve success and happiness.
To realise true happiness one must work incessantly with devotion and determination.
Decentralisation:
Here we use the term decentralised to mean socialising. Decentralisation makes one healthy and happy. Avoid being possessive.
If a person is self-centered, people do not consider him good. From sharing emanates happiness.
And unselfishness frees man from false ego, which is the cause of unhappiness. Therefore, to be happy, be decentralised.
Delightfulness:

A contented man is a delighted man. And the secret of happiness is satisfaction. One must love his work/duty. This is possible only if he is passionate about his work. In essence, 'performing duty with discipline and determination results in dexterousness. And a decentralised man is a delighted man".

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7 Easy Self-Improvement Tips

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Have you ever imagined that life could be a lot better and more fulfilling than yours is right now? Are you eager to learn a self improvement technique that will make it so? I am going to lay down 7 simple steps for your self improvement plan. Whether you implement the self improvement steps I give you is your decision alone.

Self Improvement Tip 1

This tip will seem quite obvious and simple to you, but you'll be amazed how few actually take the effort to do it. Unless you're not a morning person this self improvement tip will drastically change the quality of your day towards the positive. Setting you in a good mood to face the days challenges and adversities.

Get Up Early!

This may sound more like a way to ruin your day by putting you in an awful mood, but bear with me on this. To be able to accomplish this and still avoid losing any any precious sleep. You can go to bed just a half hour earlier since to start with you only need to get up a half hour earlier than you usually do. To aid this purpose you should definitely use an alarm clock with persistent beeping. You may be wondering by now just what it is that you're supposed to do in this extra half hour when you would normally be dozing peacefully in bed and how this has anything to do with self improvement. For different people the answer can vary slightly. To start with you need to fully awaken yourself and get rid of early morning sluggishness. To suit this purpose you can take a cold or slightly cool shower. Or you might try doing stretches combined with deep breathing.

You might skip the shower if just splashing cold water on your face is sufficient to wake you. Use whatever works for you. After you're completely alert step outside of your house, apartment, etc... And if it's early enough and you have a clear view, watch the sunrise. This simple but immensely satisfying act will lift your spirits and help with self improvement. If you're unable to do this, take a brisk walk, jog or run depending upon what you prefer and what you're physically capable of. When you've been out for 20 minutes you can head inside and commence with whatever morning ritual you normally have.

Self Improvement Tip 2

Now this is extremely important but deceitfully obvious. Eat Breakfast.

To start your day out on the right foot and stay in keeping with your self improvement plan this is practically a necessity. You need the energy this will provide you with to accomplish your daily tasks. If you are overly pressed for time you might try cereal and milk or a few granola bars, even a few pieces of fresh fruit would do. Any of these are better alternatives than skipping breakfast. This is also a good suggestion for those watching their weight, because if you skip breakfast you're more likely to binge later in the day. And you certainly won’t be helping your self improvement by gaining unwanted weight.

Self Improvement Tip 3

When you go places, even if you find it a bit difficult at first, smile more at other people. Just curve your lips up a bit as you make eye contact with another human being. It's really that simple. This will not only lift your spirits as you see a good many people smile back, but it will lift other people's as well. Even the ones who are too shy to smile back.

Self Improvement Tip 4

Don't procrastinate! The more you put something off and something else off, the more all your undesirable chores pile up. Until they're an insurmountable task that would make a paid cleaning crew shudder. In fact take these chores and work them into your schedule so you will do them.

Self Improvement Tip 5

If you don't already keep either a schedule or make yourself a to-do list each night, this is your cue to start. A to-do list helps you with get things done because it gives you a urgency "must do this today" attitude. It will also help you remember things that you might have otherwise forgotten. You can put things on them that you're afraid of forgetting, or want to make sure you make time for.

Self Improvement Tip 6

This is by far the most important self improvement tip I could give you. Forgive and Forget. Either imagined or real slights should always be forgiven. To forget them is to not dwell on them and not remember the angry feelings if you ever look back on that moment. Let me just tell you this: Holding a grudge will not hurt the begrudged as much as it will hurt you and your personality. As well as your existing relationships. If there are any ancient or recent rifts or fights between you and a relative, friend, or spouse that are hurting your relationship or have ended it entirely, make amends.

This life is the only life you get, we'll never know when it'll be our or the begrudged person's time to die, and by then it will be too late to say "I'm Sorry". So pick up the phone or walk up to that person and apologize, even if it wasn't your fault. This may be the last chance you'll get to make amends. You will be surprised at the feeling you'll get after fixing things up between you. As if a burden has been lifted off your shoulders. This is definitely a step towards self improvement.

Self Improvement Tip 7

Do something kind for someone else. Today!
Not just on a birthday or anniversary, but spontaneously.

Buy a rose or other flower for a friend and tell them it's just "because". Because they mean a lot to you, and because you care for them. Tell your family and friends that you love them. Offer to help a friend with a chore. Babysit for someone you know so they can have a night out. Help teach a young niece/nephew, son/daughter, brother/sister, etc.... how to read or do some other "grownup" thing. The list of things you can do is endless, and I'm sure you can procure some ideas of your own on the subject.

To sum up:

1. Get up early and jog or watch sunrise
2. Eat breakfast
3. Smile at strangers when you make eye contact
4. Don't procrastinate
5. Keep a schedule or To-Do list
6. Forgive others and Forgive past wrongs
7. Do something for someone else

Remember it's all up to you whether you take these steps in your self improvement plan, but improve it they will.

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