Jobs not only bestow money and power, they also make for wisdom and learning

Unable to bear his poverty, a priest went to the temple and begged the deity there for a solution. That night the deity left a golden pot in the courtyard of the priest's house. The priest found the golden pot with some water in it. He threw the water out and went to the market where he sold the pot to a merchant. With the money he received, he repaid all his debts and returned home a rich man laden with gifts for his family. Soon after, his family fought over the vast wealth, everyone from his wife to his children to his parents and his siblings demanding their share.
Unable to bear the mental agony, the priest went back to the temple and complained to the deity. "You have added to my problem not solved it with the golden pot". And deity said, "Golden pot? What golden pot? I gave you the elixir of contentment, enough for you and your family. It happened to be contained in a golden pot. Did you not drink it?"
Every job is a golden container full of water. The pot is the salary that pays our bills and the designation that pleases our desire to feel significant. But in each job is potentially the opportunity to grow intellectually and emotionally. Each job contains the seed of learning that can germinate in our mind, if we allow it to. Unfortunately, jobs are seen more in economic terms (the pot) than in learning terms (the water).
When Jacob retired, he expected that the company would throw a farewell party. This did not happen. He expected that the company would miss him terribly and call him back. This did not happen either. He felt unwanted and small. He did not matter, he realised. So when he went back to claim his final dues, he went with a heavy heart. As he waited outside the office, familiar faces passed him by. Some stopped and spoke to him, some smiled, some just ignored him. At that moment, Jacob had a Eureka moment. He realised he did not need his job to validate himself.
That is what he was doing and that was his problem. The office, like the forest, outlives the resident beasts. The beasts find nourishment in the forest but eventually they die. The forest continues to be neither loving nor hating towards its resident beasts. Animals do not resent the forest when it is time for them to go, but humans do. Why?
Animals work for survival. Humans are the only animals who also work for meaning. Hence in Sanskrit, the same word, artha, is used to indicate economics, politics and meaning. Jobs can give us money and power (the pot) but they can also give us wisdom (the water). Do we drink the water?
As Jacob speculated, he drank the water. Suddenly wisdom dawned. He felt like Newton hit by an apple. He realized that he was expecting too much from the organisation. It neither loved him nor hated it. It gave him value and he gave value to it. And now it was time to part ways, without rage or resentment. With that, Jacob found his final artha and quenched his thirst. He took his dues and left with a smile.

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Lockitron Turns Your Smartphone Into An Electronic Key

For people that can think creatively, the sky is the limit in today’s technology saturated world. Not too long ago, Google introduced Google Wallet, a way of turning your smartphone into a wallet. Provided that it supports NFC, ofcourse. With Near Field Communication, smartphones can talk to other devices that support it as well when they come in each other’s close vicinity.
While Google Wallet’s introduction is still a few months off, you can already turn your smartphone into an electronic key by buying the Lockitron system. The Lockitron system is an electronic door lock that you can open and close using your smartphone. You can generate digital keys on the fly and send them to whoever is allowed to access the door that has the lock.
Don’t want certain people accessing that door anymore? Simply generate a new key and give it to the select few that are allowed in there!



Lockitron hasn’t been around for a long time yet. The company behind the system has only installed 60 systems so far. Starting at a $300 price point plus $5 a month for messaging services, Lockitron is considerably more expensive than an old fashioned physical lock.
However, many people are going to be interested in having such a nifty gadget installed at their doors. Imagine not having to lug around a large collection of heavy keys. It’s simply too alluring to not catch on. The Lockitron company is looking to expand!

The Lockitron system has a lot of selling points. Besides not having to lug around keys, it will also come in handy to let people in from a distance. I imagine that it will be practical for a select bunch of people to have an access key installed to a particular door.
Then, when person A wants in but has forgotten his phone, person A would have to find another phone to call person B to ask him to let him in. No more having to wait for a person to physically arrive with a physical key. Another great time saver made possible by modern day technology!
At the moment, Lockitron is still a small company: founded by Cameron Robertson and Paul Gerhardt. They’ve only been in business for one year so far. But they are stirring up a lot of interest around the world. Their 60+ installed systems are now active on sites with over 400 users. Such large size work sites would not use the Lockitron system if it didn’t work well!
Besides making payments and opening doors, what other uses can creative minds come up with for NFC supported smartphones?

Source:Internet

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Want to be a Winner...Jus do it !!!

Image via WikipediaHere's a simple question to get you started. There are three monkeys sitting on a tree, above a pond. One of the monkeys decides to jump into the pond. How many monkeys are left on the tree? Two? Wrong.
The right answer is three. You see, the monkey only made the decision to jump into the pond. He didn't actually jump! If you think about it, we are all like that. We take decisions. We make resolutions. But somehow, we don't follow through with action. And intent without action is quite useless, really. Getting started - taking that first step - is often the master key to success. As someone once said, you don't have to be great to get started. But you sure have to get started to become great!

Do you find yourself struggling to take action on your plans and intentions? Well, here's a five-point programme to help you move from intent to action.
Make a beginning ? right away. Whatever be your goal, take the first step - however small - right away. Until you take that first step, your mind does not believe you. You need to signal to yourself that you are serious, that you mean business. Commit to taking action, immediately. Today. Now.

Break up the grand plan into smaller tasks. Remember, a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Sometimes the task ahead looks so enormous that we feel overwhelmed - and we don't do anything about it. Break that up into smaller sub-tasks, and suddenly you'll find something that's doable. Remember that old adage &lsquosomething is better than nothing'? It's still true.
Think of the pleasure, not the pain. Visualise success. If you want to do an MBA at a premier school and plan to devote three hours a day to studying, don't think about missing the football game on television, or about not being able to go out for that Saturday night bash. Think instead of the job that you could get post your MBA, the rewards that it would bring, the dreams that would get realised.
Create a support group. Surround yourself with people who share your objective, who are co-passengers on your journey to success. The excitement of being in it together will help you fight the inertia, and get you going with the rest of the gang.
Pay up ? in advance. For most of us, monetary commitments are a strong impetus for action. The fear of losing money or wasting it, can spur you into action. We follow up on our commitments, if only to ensure our money is well-spent. Plan to lose weight? Pay up for that three-month weight loss programme! Don't wait.
Surround yourself with people who share your objective, who are co-passengers on your journey to success.
Bestselling management author Tom Peters tells the story of a man who approached American financer and banker JP Morgan with an envelope, and said, "Sir, in my hand I hold a guaranteed formula for success, which I will gladly sell you for $25,000."

"Sir," JP Morgan replied, "I do not know what is in the envelope. However, if you show me, and I like it, I give you my word as a gentleman that I will pay you what you ask." The man agreed to the terms, and handed over the envelope. JP Morgan opened it, and pulled out a single sheet of paper. He gave it one look - a mere glance - then handed it back to the gentleman. And paid him the agreed-upon sum of $25,000! On that sheet of paper, were two things:
JP Morgan benefited from this advice, and you can too. Knowing what to do is often easy. We all have our list of things to do. Our plans and our resolutions. Doing it - that's the tough bit. But that's the hallmark of successful people. The Nike guys are right. Want to be a winner? Just do it!

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Wifi light bulbs monitored, managed and controlled remotely

Lighting is a significant contributor towards home and business energy costs, but for most of us, switching to more efficient bulbs is the extent of what we’ve done to save energy. Dutch NXP Semiconductors, however, recently introduced technology that connects bulbs over wifi, allowing fine-tuned control from any internet-connected device.
NXP’s GreenChip smart lighting solution offers a way to make internet-enabled, energy-efficient lighting networks a reality for businesses and consumers. Using the new technology, every light bulb can have its own unique IP address, and users can monitor, manage and control them all from any internet-enabled device. Lights can be turned on and off individually, for example, from any smartphone, tablet, PC or TV. Dozens or even hundreds of appliances can be connected through a wireless network designed for maximum energy savings, in fact, communicating information about their environment and consumption levels as well as any problems.
With versions for both CFL and LED lighting, NXP’s GreenChip solution fits the necessary electronics in an everyday light bulb; included are wireless IP connectivity, energy-efficient lighting and standby power as low as 50mW. GreenChip-enabled light bulbs will be able to operate on the same wireless sensor networks already common for energy metering, smart appliances and security systems. Low-power, IP-based wireless connectivity is enabled by NXP’s JenNet-IP network layer software. The video below demonstrates the technology in further detail:

John Croteau, NXP’s senior vice president and general manager for power lighting solutions and high performance RF, explains: “For individual consumers, smart lighting means highly personalized, intelligent lighting environments – lights that turn on and off when and where you need them, at the desired level of brightness — while saving power and electricity costs.”
As the latest multi-tasking devices become adopted by more and more consumers, the development and adoption of smart systems such as this is only going to gather pace. One to get involved in early!
Website: www.nxp.com/campaigns/greenchip/pages/smartlighting.php
Contact: www.nxp.com/support

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Transform Your Photos Into 3-D Models

Let's face it, sitting next to your friends as they scroll through the same 40 images of their trip to Mt. Rushmore is a total snooze-fest. Feigning interest while they subject you to each smiling pose beneath George, Tom, Teddy and Abe is so boring its enough to turn you to stone.

Might you politely suggest Photofly to your shutterbug friends.

Next week, the design software company Autodesk will release Photofly software that can turn those tedious snapshots into a three-dimensional souvenir for the mantle, preserving your friends' memories as well as your sanity. And if your snapshooting friends are cheapskates, no worries - Photofly is available free of charge.

"We can automatically generate a 3-D mesh at extreme detail from a set of photos—we're talking the kind of density captured by a laser scanner," Vice President of Autodesk Labs, Brian Mathews told Technology Review.

However, unlike a laser scanner, the equipment needed to capture the 3-D rendering doesn't cost tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars. Mathews says an overlapping set of approximately 40 digital point-and-shoot photos is enough to capture a person's head and shoulders in detailed 3-D.

After downloading the software, which will be available only for Windows computers, users can upload their photos to a cloud server for processing. After downloading the results, the 3-D renderings appear as a wire-frame model of the captured scene with realistic surface color and texture. Users can then send that model to a 3-D printing service, such as ShapeWays.

According to Mathews, models produced from a set of well-taken photos will be spatially accurate to within 1 percent or less.

Source :Internet

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God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with Him

It's true that we don't know What we've got until it's gone, But it's also true that we don't know What we've been missing until it arrives..
You can win more friends with your ears than you can with your mouth!
When God allows a burden to be put upon you, He will put his arms underneath you to help you carry it.
Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don't say it mean.
Worry is like a rocking chair--it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere.
In prayer you communicate with God, in meditation God communicates with you.
A weird thing about humans is we work till we're sick to get a fortune, then pay a fortune to get well again.
God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with Him.

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Do not value the things you have in your life. But value who you have in your

A story tells that two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face.

The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand “Today my best friend slapped me in the face”.

They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone “Today my best friend saved my life”.

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, “After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?” The other friend replied “When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it.”




Moral: Do not value the things you have in your life. But value who you have in your life.

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Pizza Delivery man.... (Must for the Bossy kind of Boss)

On walking into the factory, the MD noticed a young guy leaning against the wall, doing nothing. He approached the young man and calmly said to him,

"How much do you earn?"
The young man was quite amazed that he was asked such a personal question, he replied, none the less,
"I earn Rs.2000 a month, Sir. Why?"

Without answering, the MD took out his wallet and removed Rs. 6000 cash and gave it to the young man and said,

"Around here I pay people 4 working, not 4 standing
around looking pretty! Here is 3 months' salary, n
now just GET OUT and don't come back"

The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight. Noticing a Few onlookers, the MD said in a very upset manner,
"And that applies for everybody in this company".
He approached one of the onlookers and asked him,

"Who's the young man that I just fired?"
To which an amazing reply came of,

"He was the pizza delivery man, Sir...!!!"

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One Minute Manager

The One Minute Manager pdf

The One Minute Manager is an easily read story which quickly shows you three very practical management techniques. As the story unfolds, you will discover several studies in medicine and the behavioral sciences which
help you to understand why these apparently simple methods work so well with so many people. By the book’s end you will also know how to apply them to your own situation.

The book is brief, the language is simple, and best of all ... it works!

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TWO STORIES ONE CONCEPT

The following motivational stories will gear you up to the highest level.

Chicken, The

Once upon a time, there was a large mountainside, where an eagle's nest rested. The eagle's nest contained four large eagle eggs. One day an earthquake rocked the mountain causing one of the eggs to roll down the mountain, to a chicken farm, located in the valley below. The chickens knew that they must protect and care for the eagle's egg, so an old hen volunteered to nurture and raise the large egg.
One day, the egg hatched and a beautiful eagle was born. Sadly, however, the eagle was raised to be a chicken. Soon, the eagle believed he was nothing more than a chicken. The eagle loved his home and family, but his spirit cried out for more. While playing a game on the farm one day, the eagle looked to the skies above and noticed a group of mighty eagles soaring in the skies. "Oh," the eagle cried, "I wish I could soar like those birds." The chickens roared with laughter, "You cannot soar with those birds. You are a chicken and chickens do not soar."
The eagle continued staring, at his real family up above, dreaming that he could be with them. Each time the eagle would let his dreams be known, he was told it couldn't be done. That is what the eagle learned to believe. The eagle, after time, stopped dreaming and continued to live his life like a chicken. Finally, after a long life as a chicken, the eagle passed away.
The moral of the story: You become what you believe you are; so if you ever dream to become an eagle follow your dreams, not the words of a chicken.

Mental Chain, The

Most people are like the circus elephant. Have you ever seen a giant elephant in an indoor arena tied to a little wooden stake. That huge creature can pick up two thousand pounds with its trunk, yet it calmly stays tied. Why?
When that elephant was just a baby, and not very strong, it was tied by a huge chain to an iron stake that could not be moved. Regardless of how hard it tried, it could not break the chain and run free. After it a while it just gave up. Later, when it is strong, it never attempts to break free. The "imprint" is permanent. "I can't! I can't!' it says.
There are millions of people who behave like this creature of the circus. They have been bound, tied and told "You'll never make it," so many times they finally call it quits. The may have dreams, but the "imprinting" keeps pulling them back.
Today, eliminate the source of your limitations. When you mentally break free, the boundaries will be removed from your future.

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WHEN I DECIDED TO QUIT................

One day I decided to quit...
I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality...
I wanted to quit my life.

I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.

"God", I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"

His answer surprised me...

"Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"
"Yes", I replied.

When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them.
I gave them light. I gave them water.
The fern quickly grew from the earth.
Its brilliant green covered the floor.
Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo.
In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.
And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo. He said.
"In the third year, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit. In the fourth year, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. "I would not quit." He said. "Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth.
Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant... But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.
It had spent the five years growing roots.
Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."

He said to me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots."
"I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you. Don't compare yourself to others ..." He said. The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern ... Yet, they both make the forest beautiful."
Your time will come, God said to me. You will rise high!

How high should I rise?" I asked.

How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.
"As high as it can? I questioned.

Yes. " He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can.

I left the forest and bring back this story.

I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you.
Never regret a day in your life.

Good days give you happiness;
Bad days give you experiences;
Both are essential to life.

Happiness keeps you Sweet!
Trials keep you Strong!!

Sorrows keep you Human!
Failures keep you Humble!!

Success keeps You Glowing!
But Only God keeps You Going!!

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LIFE IS A CHANGE.~~ so beautiful to read..

This Too Shall Pass



Once a king called upon all of his wise men and asked them, ” Is there a mantra or suggestion which works in every situation, in every circumstances, in every place and in every time. In every joy, every sorrow, every defeat and every victory? One answer for all questions? Something which can help me when none of you is available to advise me? Tell me is there any mantra?”

All the wise men were puzzled by the King’s question. They thought and thought. After a lengthy discussion, an old man suggested something which appealed to all of them. They went to the king and gave him something written on paper, with a condition that the king was not to see it out of curiosity.

Only in extreme danger, when the King finds himself alone and there seems to be no way, only then he can see it. The King put the papers under his Diamond ring.

Some time later, the neighbors attacked the Kingdom. King and his army fought bravely but lost the battle. The King had to flee on his horse. The enemies were following him. getting closer and closer. Suddenly the King found himself standing at the end of the road - that road was not going anywhere. Underneath there was a rocky valley thousand feet deep. If he jumped into it, he would be finished…and he could not return because it was a small road…the sound of enemy’s horses was approaching fast. The King became restless. There seemed to be no way.

Then suddenly he saw the Diamond in his ring shining in the sun, and he remembered the message hidden in the ring. He opened the diamond and read the message. The message was - ” THIS TOO SHALL PASS”

The King read it . Again read it. Suddenly something struck him- Yes ! This too will pass. Only a few days ago, I was enjoying my kingdom. I was the mightiest of all the Kings. Yet today, the Kingdom and all his pleasure have gone. I am here trying to escape from enemies. Like those days of luxuries have gone, this day of danger too will pass. A calm came on his face. He kept standing there. The place where he was standing was full of natural beauty. He had never known that such a beautiful place was also a part of his Kingdom.

The revelation of the message had a great effect on him. He relaxed and forgot about those following him. After a few minutes he realized that the noise of the horses and the enemy coming was receding. They moved into some other part of the mountains and were near him.

The King was very brave. He reorganized his army and fought again. He defeated the enemy and regained his empire. When he returned to his empire after victory, he was received with much fanfare. The whole capital was rejoicing in the victory.

Everyone was in a festive mood. Flowers were being showered on King from every house, from every corner. People were dancing and singing. For a moment King said to himself,” I am one of the bravest and greatest King. It is not easy to defeat me. With all the reception and celebration he saw an ego emerging in him.

Suddenly the Diamond of his ring flashed in the sunlight and reminded him of the message. He open it and read it again: “THIS TOO SHALL PASS”.

He became silent. His face went through a total change - from the egoist he moved to a state of utter humbleness. If this too is going to pass, it is not yours. The defeat was not yours, the victory is not yours. You are just a watcher. Everything passes by. We are witnesses of all this. We are the perceivers. Life comes and goes. Happiness comes and goes. Sorrow comes and goes.

Now as you have read this story, just sit silently and evaluate your own life. This too will pass. Think of the moments of joy and victory in your life. Think of the moment of Sorrow and defeat. Are they permanent ? They all come and pass away.

Life just passes away. There is nothing permanent in this world. Everything changes except the law of change. Think over it from your own perspective. You have seen all the changes. You have survived all setbacks, all defeats and all sorrows. All have passed away. The problems in the present, they too will pass away. Because nothing remains forever. Joy and sorrow are the two faces of the same coin. They both will pass away.

You are just a witness of change. Experience it, understand it, and enjoy the present moment - this too shall pass

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6 Steps to Master your Emotions

Whenever you feel you are in a painful emotion, take the following steps to break the pattern, which is limiting your progress or success.

It is like cultivating your own garden in a way. What you plant will grow and thrive in whatever conditions. Similarly we need to develop habits or regular pattern of planting good emotions to feel positive and powerful to handle things around us.
1. Recognise your feelings – are they negative , do you feel overwhelmed or attacked or overloaded -- just ask yourself - ‘What am I feeling right now?’ Am I angry or frustrated? Then take a moment to question your emotions. Start to reason and begin to reduce the intensity of your negative emotions to deal with the situation more quickly and easily. Keep in mind the 10 positive powerful emotions listed to help get to the right frame of thinking.
2. Accept and Appreciate your emotions – Don’t destroy your feelings by wrongful communications with yourself. Begin to accept that you have right to feel the way you feel at times because of circumstances. However appreciate that now you are totally aware and can control your emotions – you can change your thinking patterns and the way you approach the situations. As every child needs attention, you will find this steps helps to calm you down eventually to look at the positive angle.

3. Understand and Analyse the message – you are getting or thinking through. This is to help you break the habit of negative emotional states you get into immediately under certain conditions. Check out your feelings and challenge them if valid for those situations. This is to prevent the same happening again and again form occurring in future. It is literally conditioning you to think better than just misinterpreting things.

Four great questions to ask:
a) What must I really feel to handle it better?
b) What belief do I need to develop to feel that way?
c) Am I willing to create the right solution and handle it properly to get results?
d) What will I gain from this? Or how will it benefit me?

4. Stay Confident – this step is important as it need to be carried throughout. Things do wrong at times but it is crucial not to lose hope and faith in yourself. Develop confidence and keep it till you achieve the desired results.
5. Give Assurance to yourself – that you have ability to solve things and develop positive powerful emotions to get expected outcomes. Furthermore, keep assuring that you cannot only do it this time but also every time such condition prevails. Repeating yourself will to develop assurance and overcome negativity.

6. Become Passionate to take action – don’t be a coward – just go for it. Excitement is important to move you forward – so get passionate about winning people, situations or even circumstances that challenge you. Passion is the leverage that gets you in the driving seat to steer you to your goals of happiness.

So begin to kill the weds in your garden before they become giants to control you and your life.

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WHEN GOD THROWS A BRICK.....

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, 'What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?' The young boy was apologetic. 'Please, mister...please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do,' He pleaded. 'I threw the brick because no one else would stop...' With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. 'It's my brother,' he said, 'he rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up.' Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, 'Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me.' Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay 'Thank you and may God bless you,' the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home. It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar.. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: 'Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!' God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not.

Thought for the Day:

If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.
If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.
He sends you flowers every spring.
He sends you a sunrise every morning Face it, friend - He is crazy about you!

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HUSBAND & WIFE

Husband: Do you know the meaning of W I F E?

It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime!

Wife: No darling, it means,With Idiot For Ever

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *******

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper,

So I'd be in your hands all day.

Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper,

So I could have a new one everyday.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********

Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills..


Wife: When must I give them to him?

Doctor: They are for you

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********

Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.

Husband: You should have known it the minute

I asked you to marry me.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********

Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it.

So I bought 3 movie tickets.

Wife: Why Three?

Husband: For you and your parents

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *******

Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest?

Husband: A lovely Push...!!!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********

Q: What is the most effective way to remember your wife's birthday?

A: Just forget it once and you will never forget it again

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband,

You know, I was a fool when I married you..

The husband replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice

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THESE FIT SO WELL, THEY SHOULD BE IN A DICTIONARY.....

ADULT
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR
A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL
Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they die.

COMMITTEE
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST
Someone who is me-deep in conversation.

HANDKERCHIEF
Cold storage.

INFLATION
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO
An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN
Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET
Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE
The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW
One of the greatest labor-saving devices of today.

YAWN
An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES
Something other people have, similar to my character lines.

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The Truth about Success.......

The Truth about Success.......

1-Success must be in your mind first
2-Be constant in your efforts
3-Get away from the crowd at the bottom
4-Be willing to change your life completely

The Stages in life:

The key to successful life is to realize that living is a learned habit & acquired skill

1-The first realization of life is that Life is a garden & you are the gardener.
2- The second realization of life is that Every action including inaction has a definite result.
3- The third realization of life is that All things have a season.
4- The fourth realization of life is that Two forces are at work in the Universe.
-The forces of good
-The forces of evil

The Process by which Thoughts become Things (Results)

1)THOUGHTS
2)FEELINGS
3)VISION
4)GOALS
5)PLAN
6)ACTION
7)RESULTS


No one goes alone to the heights of excellence.Whether your business is building a great networking team,a brilliant idea,a meaningful career,a work of art,or a vast commercial empire...YOUR SUCCESS WILL DEPEND ON OTHERS, AND THEIRS WILL DEPEND ON YOU.

cheers!!

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Lifetime Equations (No Physics ... No Mathematics) !!!!

Equations! - This is one of the funniest equation reductions you may have read in a LONG time


Equation 1

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore:
Human = Donkey + Work + enjoy
Therefore: Human-enjoy = Donkey + Work
In other words, A Human that doesn't know how to enjoy = Donkey that works.
++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ ++ ++
Equation 2

Man = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore: Man = Donkey + earn money
Therefore: Man-earn money = Donkey
In other words Man who doesn't earn money = Donkey
++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +
Equation 3

Woman= eat + sleep + spend
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore: Woman = Donkey + spend
Therefore:Woman - spend = Donkey
In other words, Woman who doesn't spend = Donkey
++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +

To Conclude: >From Equation 2 and Equation 3

Man who doesn't earn money = Woman who doesn't spend

So Man earns money not to let woman become a donkey!

And a woman spends not to let the man become a donkey!


So, We have: Man + Woman = Donkey + earn money + Donkey + Spend money

Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude

Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!

Cheers!!!!

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10 THE RULES FOR BEING HUMAN

1. You will receive a body.
You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period of this time around.

2. You will learn lessons.
You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called Life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid.

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons.
Growth is a process of trial and error: Experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately "works."

4. A lesson is repeated until learned.
A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can then go on to the next lesson.

5. Learning lessons does not end.
There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.

6. 'There' is no better than 'here...'-
When your "there" has become a "here," you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here."

7. Others are merely mirrors of you.
You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself.

8. What you make of your life is up to you.
You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

9. Your answers lie inside you.
The answers to Life's questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen and trust.

10. You will forget all this.

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DRINK, STEAL, SWEAR & LIE

I met this person who has a motto he lives by everyday. He said " listen carefully and
live by these 4 rules: Drink, Steal, Swear, & Lie."

I was shaking my head 'no', but he then told me to listen while he explained his four rules. So here they are:

1.. "Drink" from the "everlasting cup" every day.

2.. "Steal" a moment to help someone that is in worse shape than you are.

3.. "Swear" that you will be a better person today than yesterday.

4.. And last, but not least, when you "lie" down at night thank God you live in a country where you have religious freedom.

I am not as good as I should be, I am not as good as I could be. but THANK GOD

I am better than I used to be !*

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