Create a Career Tree from your LinkedIn Profile

This diagram illustrates the career path of the American President – the branches represent his education and the work experience. I think the size of the circles represent the relative time spent in a particular role.
If you would like to have something similar for your own career, simple head over to Newsweek.com and import your LinkedIn profile.
The more details you have in your LinkedIn profile, the ‘fuller’ your tree will be. You may also add details of your career to the tree manually using the “career tree form” available on the same page without changing your main LinkedIn profile.

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4 Management Lessons

* Lesson Number One *

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the
crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"

The crow answered: "Sure, why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a
sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting
very, very high up.


* Lesson Number Two *

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey,
"but I haven't got the energy. "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my
droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him
enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after
eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a
fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was
promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you
there.


* Lesson Number Three *

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain
said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and
functions."

The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to
where he wants to go." The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do
all the work and earn all the money." And so it went on and on with the
heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up.

All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the
asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a
short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched,
the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they
all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed.

All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out
the shit!

Management Lesson: You don't need brains to be Boss, any asshole will do!


* Lesson Number Four *

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird
froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a
cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the
pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually
thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing
cat heard he bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the
cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out
and ate him!

Management Lessons Summary:

1. Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3. When you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!

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